Crawling out from under the rock

I hope finally for good. Ladies, this has been a very trying time for me, alot of changes going on in and around me and I have felt a bit out of sync and a bit overwhelmed. Days filled with sadness and gloom.

I decided to share this with you because I need to be accountable for this feeling that I have been denying for way to long. Over the course of the last two months I have come to realize that I do suffer from depression and these feelings of inadequacy as a mother, wife have to stop, among other areas.

I get so "down" on myself and regardless of all the sweet gestures made toward me, I don't feel them. I hope some of you can relate to this, and can offer some words or guidance to me. My poor sweet hubby has tried to express this to me, but I would “cut” him off because I didn’t  want to believe I suffered from this. Not another flaw, not another character defect. Is is situational or permanent?  How can you tell?  How do you know?

Between family, work decisions, becoming a empty nester, my life as I have known it has changed majorly over the course of a few months. All the things that made me who I was, is no more.  I was always a mother, but now with all my kids on their own, and living there own lives, I don’t have that “label” anymore per se. I’m not needed like I was before. As well as a  employee, since I now am at home again full time (at least for now).  I don’t have that label either.  I feel I have to reinvent myself and I really don’t know how…where to start? 

I know the first place to look is in God’s word to see what he says on the matter of depression, so I have picked a few verses that spoke to me.

(Using  Bible gateway to research my verses)

Broken Heart- (NASB) Psalms 34:18, Proverbs 17:22

¹⁸The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
         And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

²²A joyful heart is good medicine,
         But a broken spirit dries up the bones.

Can result from failure to confess- Psalms 32:3-4

³When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away
         Through my groaning all day long.
⁴For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
         My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. Selah.

After spending time reading all the different scriptures dealing with depression that I could find, I didn’t stop there, I went in search for more biblical teachings from women who have been there.

As I was thinking about all I have been struggling with, I was reminded again of David and his struggles.  Instead of relaying it all again, Courtney at Women Living Well stated it wonderfully. (Psalms 69)  Back in February she started a series of post about depression and if you struggle or have been struggling, I hope you will take a look at them. 

I thank you all for being patient with me and for not given up on me and my blog….but I find myself at a crossroad in life, with alot of new adventures just over the horizon, and I don’t want to miss them, so the time has come for me to take action….so that I can live in the Joy promised by my Father.

God turns mourning into Joy – Jeremiah 31:13

¹³ Then maidens will dance and be glad,
       young men and old as well.
       I will turn their mourning into gladness;
       I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Love,